Who is allowed to have a child and who isn’t? (original by Birgit Zart)
Hello, dear ones,
who ever could answer that?
I guess the most we can do is to think about it.
I think most of us just fall into the trap set by our society of achievement. Whenever you want something you have to fight for it, argue and earn it.
This doesn’t apply to babies, though.
Babies are a stroke of luck.
And we all know that not even in the lottery the person with the most tickets has to win.
No, it comes to people out of the blue. Following unknowable principles.
We know that.
But, just to be on the save side, we try hard to have a baby.
I guess we will have to think about achievement and devotion.
Think about our ancestor, the Neanderthal,
The one that sat next to the fire in the evening.
One with nature.
Deep inside, she knew, if there were to be an earthquake, a storm, a hard winter, she would bear it. She could bear it, because she didn’t assume in the least, that she could change anything about these things. With that, she has something that we would do well to learn from her.
We are brought up to believe, that humankind controls everything and has the power to change things.
We are taught to identify problems and find solutions.
But this is a male principle.
The female principle devotes itself and puts up with things.
So we can make sure the apartment is clean and the dinner is cooked, but have next to no influence over nature. To believe we do is simply a wrong file of thoughts in our emotional structure.
Maybe we can manage to correct the file by creating a new file, a file named composure and devotion.
Let’s open it.
Let’s have a look at things that we can’t change and collect them here.
Rain, for example. When it’s raining, we wouldn’t say ‘oh, I got to do something about this rain and turn it of’.
No, we will shelter somewhere, get our umbrella and sometimes, cuddled up in a sleeping bag while camping, we enjoy it.
But, we take it as it is.
A principle of nature
With a ‘hard’ winter, we do something similar. We put on warm clothes, turn up the heating. Maybe we enjoy a warm log fire, go sledging or skiing. We might do something with it. We take it, we accept it. So every day is a new bag of tricks that we learn to accept as it is, to say ‘yes’ to.
Life, fate, nature, however you wish to call it, is standing next to us and hands us a little present on a silver tray every day.
All we have to do is take it. But for that we need to recognize it. Recognize that not all things in life are there to annoy us or to make life difficult, but also wonderful little presents.
When I am relaxed, I am quite good at that.
Then I enjoy this bag of tricks.
This is the joy of life.
But when I am stressed out, ill, frustrated, then it seems as if it only ever rains, just to annoy ME.
This is an emotional blockage (and by the way a typical sepia symptom). Then I will long for summer in wintertime and for snow in summer.
That’s what it is: to not accept one’s fate.
And an error in my programme, that makes me believe that everything is against me personally.
The women around me have children only to put salt into my biggest wound?
Menstruation only arrives to show me that yet again it didn’t happen this month?
As you see, in the last two sentences I went back to the old, flawed programme.
I shall stop that quickly! I just wanted to show you.
We won’t abolish or judge this programme; all we are doing is to offer our subconscious a new, more sensible one. The subconscious is rational. It is clever. All we have to do is offer something more sensible. Let’s put new glasses on. Let’s recognize the silver trays that are offered to us.
So next time an appointment is cancelled at the last minute, let’s not say ‘Damned, I drove all this way for nothing!’, but seize the time. How about a visit to the hairdressers? Accept the present behind the cancelled appointment.
Don’t get me wrong.
It would be too simple for me to say ‘Well, let’s use the time until a baby arrives’
I know that doesn’t work that way.
Maybe it’s just a good thing to discover those glasses.
To learn how to recognize the little presents hidden in our daily life. You can learn it.
And one by one our subconscious will integrate this emotional scheme into the larger things in life. All by itself. Almost imperceptible.
And once this is achieved we receive another present on our way.
Maybe then we will have learnt to treat our time of longing as a time of fun, to accept any experience and insight.
And maybe we won’t even need to think about the question in the end:
‘Who is allowed to have a child and who isn’t?’